Drama from The Football Family Act II

Scene 2 – Eastlands Towers Boardroom.
Gary “Basil” Crook, the chief Executive, gazes out on to the junction of Ashton New Road and Alan Turing Way where an army of contractors are installing another giant piece of public art made from rusting steel, a graceful concoction of flourishes and curlicues, it is meant to spell out in Arabic the club motto – Pride In Battle. Instead it has been mischieviously translated by the fabricators as Deluded Twats.


Enter Sheik Sybil Mansoor.

GBC: ” Ah Sheik, your lordship, your worship, how very nice to see you ! Hows the er
..wheat,  yes the wheat, could I offer you a small libation, an aperitif, with us , on the
house…”

SM: ” No Thank you, I am Musslimm remember and it is MY house anyway. Besides I never drink during Hannukah. When does this meeting start? “

GBC: ” Very shortly, your munificence, when the agent and his latin creature from Barcelona get here”

SM: ” Barcelona ? , thats Messi, you schlemiel, the one you didnt get for me. You mean Carlos from Hargentina “

GBC: ” Ah yes, quite so……. er…oh look here they are now”

ENTER Kiaora Oranjooshian and his puppet, Carlo Stevez

CT: winds his head out and blusters: ” Quiero mas dinero de Wayne ahora”

SM: ” What did he say Crook, you speak Spanish”

GBC , dismissively ” I learned classical spanish, not the pidgin version he seems to have picked up “

CT, looks bemused ” Que ? “

KO: ” He say that he want more money than Rooney now, he tell me you tell him he better player than Rooney and must come to the , how you say, dark side, no , blue side of Manchester”

GBC : ” oh come , come. Carlo, you already get more than Yo-Yo Tarah…”

SM , interjects ” Oi Vey ! In the press I read that the goblin earns £140K a week, now your telling me already that he earns more than the schvartze, the same one in whose contract some schmuck added a decimal point in the wrong place….”

GBC: ” Ah yes, my wife deals with all such matters, however it may be quicker to deal with the monkey, easier to train, then the Joorobian Grinder “

Crook turns to Tevez,

GBC : ” Carlos, what is it that you REALLY want? A new snood, in blue lame perhaps, an MP3 of the Inspiral Carpets hit ” This is how it feels”, a extension to your VIP pass to the
Gaucho Grill next to Kendalls, a blue dummy,  permission to go to Ji Sung Park’s Birthday party at the McDonalds in Ardwick…….”

CT: ” No, No , No !! Absolutamente No ! Necesito los hinchos de manchester, algunos con bigotes quien vivir en Stockport me dicen ” Lo siento”. ” Lo siento” por todos los veces me llamaron ” Un Cabron Rojo”

KO: ” He says that he needs all the Manchester fans, at least those who live in Stockport
and have moustaches to apologise to him for all the times they called him a Red bastard”

GBC : ” hmmm, not sure we can get them to do that Carlo. What about an extra £50 grand a week? Is that OK your bounteousness? “

SM: ” Are you are a meshuggeneh? Kiaora, tell your golem we will get T shirts made with an apology and leave one on every seat at the next home game. The fans will do anything for a cheap rag, take carlos for example, look what they put up with because we gave them a scarf each. I will arrange a little extra gelt for you , no one need know.  Sepp wont mind a couple of million less anyway “

Exeunt All, pursued by a Bear

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About Moorendman

A traveller through life who reads a great many of peoples works whilst self teaching himself.
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