King Kenny:Aye am the resurrection

On Sunday on the way back from North Wales, I had wanted to listen to the build up to the afternoons FA cup ties; Manchester United  v Liverpool, Chelsea v Ipswich and Manchester City v Leicester Fosse

At one point the car radio seemed to have developed a strange fault – 5 live  on 909 had somehow began broadcasting Radio Merseyside. Admittedly we were not far from the Wirral, as from the lofty A55 I could see Hilbre Island below us in the middle of the Dee Estuary. But from 12.30 what did we get but a solid, unremitting hour of The Liverpool Show, how King Kenny has come again from the east, how the glory days were only just around the corner for Five Live’s England’s favourite team…

Did I miss something on the news? Has Jerusalem been reassembled from “liberated” building materials on the banks of the Mersey. Was that bright light shining in  West Kirby  in fact a star and not a police helicopter pinning down  a twoccer in a searchlight?

Were those 3 men on the shoppers bus from Rainhill with Matalan carrier bags full of bent Frankincense, Gold and Myrrh really Caspar Fagan, Melchior Paisley and Balthazar Shankly? Was there really no room at the bail hostel ? Could I hear choirs of cheeky scouse scamps with mucky paws full of stolen sweets singing ” Lidl Donkey”,  and no need to mention virgin births in Liverpool………

No, the messiah has really come home to recreate the kingdom of Heaven on earth for Greeny and Lawro, where Manchester is a trophy free zone again,  where dodgy claims for
disability benefits were less closely scrutinised and would often pay for a mid week trip to some european city, where time before an away game could be spent shoplifting
Tachini shell suits and jewelery.

On and on it went, how many more scousers could they find? Next up  Tony Barrett from “De Times” , a guy who sounds more like the Liverpool comedian John Bishop then Bishop does.

Eventually Lawrenson acknowledged that there was more than just one team playing today, so he introduced Arthur Albiston, the ex United fullback, for a different perpective..

ML “Hello Arthur, long time no see, big game today”

AA ” Yes, “ ..slight hesitation

ML ” So, Arthur, how do you think Liverpool will approach the game today..”

……………30 minutes later at 1.31pm….

Alan Green: ” Oh thats a shocking decision by Howard Webb, Berbatov had no need to go down there, who does he think he is ? Steven Gerrard? “

……………60 minutes later at 2.01pm

Mark Lawrenson ” Never a red card for Gerrard, thats just a yellow, whats Webb’s problem? “

The Karmic wheel turns…………..


About Moorendman

A traveller through life who reads a great many of peoples works whilst self teaching himself.
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One Response to King Kenny:Aye am the resurrection

  1. HK Bingo says:

    things not missed about being out of the UK:

    1 Virgin Trains
    2 Football commentary on 5 Live

    Even from here it’s clear the “media” have been trying paint a picture recently that United are getting all the decisions. Same old story, lucky United eh….

    Because a pen wasn;t given for G Nev’s foul against West Brom.
    Not a single mention that we also didn’t get a stonewall pen in the second half for blatant handball though. No need to report on that, doesn’t fit the story we want to tell!!

    And what’s the argument with the decisions in the Liverpool game?

    Definite pen – Agger catches his ankle and it trips him. Only slightly, and you can’t really see it on the slow mo, but anyone who’s ever run anywhere knows it doesn’t take much to knock one foot against the other and make you trip up. I felt sorry for Agger because I don’t think he meant it but that’s part of being a defender.

    and it’s a two footed challenge off the floor – definite red card.

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