No Wembley Champions from the Capital this year

At 20.09 GMT, last night,  a middle aged man in the tense cauldron of his own living room, screamed “Get in, Fuck Off !” in celebration after the scoring of an important champions league goal.

It is reported that a 15 year old tortoiseshell cat, which was watching at the time,  is badly traumatised by the incident and it’s owners are concerned that it may begin to use similar obscentities.

The scorer of the said goal , Wayne Rooney, will have his punishment confirmed this morning by the FA for the exact same use of the profanity. It would be churlish and
partisan to suggest that public reaction to his “foul mouth” were in some way a consequence of too much media attention, especially BBC 5 Live’s equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials held last Saturday Evening.

The justice of this could be heard during the Chelsea-United quarter final last night, when the Chelsea crowd, profoundly angry with their erstwhile England hero for corrupting their unborn children and pet hamsters with his diabolical outbust after the completion of Roooney’s comeback hat trick against their “dearest friends” and fellow Londoners, West Ham, could be heard constantly booing him.

Notwithstanding that the F word is probably the most used word on a football  pitch after the indignant shout of “referee?” and that it makes up some 32.4% of your average matchday fan’s vocabulary ( Figures from the Ron Atkinson Centre for Respect ) , Rooney’s outburst is surely just an example of release, the opponent vanquished in the arena, the point won, the goal scored……but then you would have to played the game at some competitive level to understand that. ( Yes, thats you Alan Green , the fat kid who was the last to be picked, if ever )

Goal celebrations are the source of much strange behaviour: who can forget Ketsbaia’s unprovoked attack on the advertising hoardings, who would like to forget Peter Crouch’s robot dance? And then we have the nazi salute by Paolo Di Canio, Robbie Fowler’s sniffing the coke line, Tim Cahill’s handcuff support to his GBH convicted brother and lovable Craig Bellamy’s golf club swing echoing his attack on team mate John Arne Riise. All of the above apparently not worthy of the FA’s attention.

As a shaven headed,amply proportioned Chelsea-shirted Shed regular might say : ” Faark Orrf, Your ‘avin a laarf !”


About Moorendman

A traveller through life who reads a great many of peoples works whilst self teaching himself.
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2 Responses to No Wembley Champions from the Capital this year

  1. HK Bingo says:

    was the man also eating a pie / peas and curry all mushed into one as he utered the expletive in his living room?

    Rooney is wrong, there’s no doubt about that though is there – just because emotions are high, doesn’t mean he can swear into a camera and we all forgive him afterwards because we want to believe he’s innocent and the world’s against us.

    I agree there are double standards because the FA haven’t banned someone before for the same actions, and because it is yet another opportunity for them to “make an example” out of United despite it flying in the face of precedent.

    But if a man on the street swore aggressively into my Gran’s face and then later tried to justify it by saying he was upset at the time (argument with his girlfriend, bad day at work, spilt his pint etc) I wouldn’t it’s alright.

    Rudyard Kipling didn’t write:
    “If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    (Except if you’ve got a bad temper and are feeling emotional)”

    Unjustfied behaviour not being punished in the past isn’t a reason to not punish it now or in the future.

    It wouldn’t happen in the world of rugger….

  2. Pingback: Ferguson analiza la historia del United | Deportes Minuto a Minuto

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